Monday, March 14, 2005
Definition of jackass:
1. A male ass or donkey.
2. A foolish or stupid person; a blockhead: "You've acted like an irrational jackass and it's time you stopped" (Margaret Truman).

I looked up jackass in several dictionaries and could find no mention of Mark Mason. I was certain I was going to be there. You see, I have a habit of making "A foolish or stupid person; a blockhead" out of myself at church. You know how sometimes pastors say something wrong followed by "Amen?!?!" just to make sure everyone is paying attention. Personally I think this practice should be avoided when there are people in the audience who are not native speakers and ALWAYS agree wholeheartedly with the pastor and are also "a male ass or donkey".

So we are in church and singing a song that says "God will change my sorrow into joy" and after the song the pastor says "so God will turn my sorrow into more sorrow and despair, Amen?!?!". A few people weren't paying attention and said Amen. So he repeats it to give those who weren't paying attention a chance to redeem themselves. One or two people say Amen while the rest giggle. Finally a third time he repeats the question followed by an even louder AMEN??!! At this point of course only a great fool would say "Amen" on the third Amen and only "A foolish or stupid person; a blockhead" would actually scream "AMEN!!" from the VERY front row of the church while working the projector.

Yes, I am that person. I yelled AMEN! at the absolute wrong time to the great amusement of everyone around me. Especially the elderly lady behind me who said..."No!!!! God will change my sorrow into joy! Not despair! Joy! Joy! Joy! You jackass!"

Ok, well she didn't say jackass, but she probably thought it...if elderly women think such a word in church.


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